What's it all about, Annie...

Went to see Mom a couple of weeks ago. At 91 she is pretty much the last one standing among her immediate family and contemporaries. The dementia has a hold to the extent that as soon as you answer her question, she asks it again. The strange thing is that, in the moment, she seems with it. Always asks about the kids, their Mother and me. Always tells me how proud she is of her family and how lucky that we regularly attend to her, as opposed to some of her less fortunate friends. She is quick to talk about how she misses the everyday stuff like pets and gardening and being a part of things. But she is quick to acknowledge how lucky she is. Her memory is gone. But she has a standard array of questions for all her kids and pat responses to the typical answers. Her memory is gone, her heart seems strong. I'm not sure where she is going. Not sure where I'm going. Same place? Who knows.

I think though, that she legitimately enjoys the discussions, in the moment. I hope she takes away some feeling of happiness or at least satisfaction that my family is doing ok and that we are carrying on the values she and Pop set us up with. She says it's so. Maybe that is the lesson. Do the best you can in the moment. Tomorrow and its uncontrollables and unknowns will be what they will.

I don't know. But I'm going to work out tomorrow.