So the "pneumonia" word was used a couple of times

So, back from a visit with the PCP and while diagnosis was URI the idea of hairs breadth and pneumonia were explored.  Actually, the Nurse doing the intake was flustered a bit when I initially scored an 84 on my oxygen test.  "Are you having difficulty breathing."  I thought that rated as a stupid question.  But with encouragement I wheezed up to 93.  First time with the Nebulizer treatment thing, I was a little daunted and was expecting to cough up cups of goo immediately.  That didn't happen exactly but I sure breathed easier afterwords.  A long list of pharmaceuticals well started and I feel vaguely human again though not well yet.  I don't really know what to make of this experience yet--what did I learn?  First, I'm shit at recognizing the difference between viral and bacterial infection.  Second, "tough" and "stupid" are heads and tails on the same coin -- when it comes to disease I exhibit both behaviors simaltaneously and that complicates getting help.  I'm still thinking this through particularly now that I'm getting oxygen to the brain.

5-30-14

Our yoga instructor and general inspiration for fitness and wellness is at a yoga event the last three days. The group got a little lazy without her motivational presence. But I overcame my indolence today and did a three mile interval at lunch, alone. Beautiful sunny, breezy day. I felt good and ran more than usual, without really pushing. Didn't time the run but by triangulation it appears to have been below a 40 minute circuit which is at the fast end of the norm. Despite a lousy night's sleep, I felt good during the run and all afternoon. Sales meeting all next week, so no time during lunch. Have to cram some stuff into this weekend.

Sick as a dog

Working on week three of bronchitis symptoms, not dead, but really wishing for a recovery.  Interestingly asthma flared up during this and trying to get that under control has raised the question for me, "What if some of my frustration with workouts is a result of mild persistent asthma, untreated?" rather than say being out of shape or having a bad attitude.  So I'm gonna open that conversation with the PCP.  I may have to breakdown and visit the PCP for the bronchitis too but we will see.  I really hate wasting time in waiting rooms for things that just have to heal naturally.

5-27-14

Lunch  hour yoga. No balance today, in favor of extra hip, hamstring and groin stretches. Good for me since I am really tight through there, owing to the walking and running miles. Felt good then, still good tonight.

5-25-14

Did the 3.3 mile neighborhood interval with Tate. Didn't time it but think we did more running and less walking than recently. Worst of it was that none of Tate's dog pals were out. He squeaked a little at each one's house, but  soldiered on with only my friendship. Best of it was that I think I found the shoes I need for road and light trail running. I've tried some different Merrells and Nikes, and added support and cushioning with insoles but have always had some kind of issue from too little support to too rigid a sole, to my foot sliding forward and hitting the front of the shoe. Now I have a pair of Columbia trail runners that fit perfectly and seem to have the right balance of  properties. Hard to work out when your feet hurt. I'm good on this now, at least for a while.

5-23-14

Yoga on a rearranged schedule. Only one other woman besides me plus the instructor. It was good in the sense that without the confusion of a full room, I was able to watch both the instructor and myself in the window to see how close my poses are to correct and hopefully improve my form. I'm really tight through my hips, back and hamstrings but feel like things like my "bridge" are improving. More convex every week. One measure  of progress is that I threw about 10 stones at the beaver who is eating all the trees along our lake shore the other  night and had decent velocity and no after pain. Prior to starting yoga I could hardly lift my hand above shoulder level much less throw a stone.

5-19,20-14

On monday, did the  3 mile interval in the coal lands behind the factory. Pace was modest after a tiring weekend of gardening in the sun. Still we had all we wanted and it felt good.

Tuesday was yoga day. The most demanding part for me is the 15 minutes after warmup when we do sequences of various poses beginning and ending in down dog. At its peak my arms and shoulders are screaming and I love it when we move into balance poses, marking the end of the strength phase. At the same time I like that part of the workout for the strength and joint loosening benefits I've  gotten. Even in yoga, no pain no gain.

5-15-14

Yoga today. Continuing on the  path of kink removal, flexibility improvement and better balance. No breakthroughs. What struck  me today is the disparate group that we have that uniformly enjoys the session, both for the Yoga and I think the camaraderie. Beside me, there is a 40ish karate focused engineer, a 50ish field engineer fighting his weight, 3 women in the 40-50 year range, all working on weight and toning, I suppose the classic yoga participants. Everyone has their reason for being there. Everyone has different issues with the routine. But all of us appreciate the benefits and work our varied bodies as best we can to capitalize on our instructor's generosity in holding the sessions on her lunch hour. I started out worrying that I would fart during the session and embarrass myself but I think we have progressed to the point that, as long as I wasn't too crass about it, the group would just laugh and abide by the "what happens in yoga, stays in yoga" agreement we made early on. It's been great.

5-11-14

I actually want to cover from Saturday May 7 through today, tuesday May 11. Did a 2 mile walk with my wife on saturday. It was noteworthy mainly in the fact that she got so bugged with my badgering her to be more active that she decided to show me! In fact, she walked a hilly course fast and with no more puffing than me. My dedication and her talent would make an impressive person.

Sunday was a full gardening day. Hand turning over the vegetable garden and cleaning up some landscape beds. Hard work and I felt it Sunday night.

Was thinking about bagging the lunch run on monday, but my work mates were compelling and I went. It felt good. Time for our 3 mile loop was 40:08, best this year.

Today, tuesday, was yoga day. Heavy sweat and didn't bail out of anything, except for the balance poses I fell out of. Major achievement getting into side crow on both sides and holding them for 10-15 seconds. First time.

So, a good string of activity and put some nagging work issues behind me. Feeling content tonight.

5-8-14

Yoga today. Good group. Our co-worker instructor continues to crank up the pace of her power yoga routine. I want to improve in two areas: flexibility in hamstrings, hips, glutes etc and balance. Progress today in the side angle pose that is a vertical posture evolved from the airplane pose. Very difficult for me. Requires leg strength and endurance and great balance. I got further today than ever, but lost it on both sides when trying to reach a bind. Something to shoot for.

We are doing this during lunch hour in a company conference room. Move the tables and chairs, line up  mats and go for it. I like the power yoga approach because adding strength is desirable and I feel the workout all afternoon on yoga days. We have 4-5 women and 3-4 men participating most days, all claiming measurable benefit. Thanks to our instructor who does it because she loves it. She is making a nice contribution just out of a belief in yoga and a healthy lifestyle. Here's to Pam.

Musing

R.A.M.

Thanks for the e-mail and the concern.  You are spot on with observing the ambivalence I'm struggling with regarding exercise.  Or, perhaps reduced expectations of mid-life.  Another interesting aspect of your note regards the blog itself.

For me the blog has evolved as my reasons for exercise have changed.  Initially, I was training for martial arts.  Accordingly the links, the workouts, all were slanted in that direction.  Indeed some of those resources are still present.  As my interests shifted to my outdoor activities and my work with the Boy Scouts, the links, the resources likewise shifted, and many of those are obviously still present.  I know that other bloggers keep their interests discrete writing separate blogs, but, for me that lost the point of "life span" and it lost track of the twisting and turning of ones intellectual curiosity.  I thought it better to let the residue persist from each turn.  Indeed, I linked back to some key texts that informed my thinking as well.  In this way resonating withe the Body Tribe ethos.

During the winter you talked about writing a blog that detailed your hikes.  I really liked that idea and I encourage you to consider this either a place to publish those, or, to draft them -- publish the final to your preferred site if that suites you better.  I liked your linking of the GPS data from your work walk/runs.  Linking to other trail reviews and providing pictures would really round this project out.

Too, I've tried to encourage RATZ to install the blogger app on her phone and to start logging her activities and her ruminations on diet.  She is quite devoted to the plant based diet and has learned a lot in the last 18 months.  I think it would be interesting to read her reviews and modifications of recipes.

Lastly, returning to my own exercise.  I am struggling with motivation, first at a strategic level, "what are we fighting for?"  Oddly enough the negative motivation does nothing for me.  Exercise to avoid "x" whatever negative, frightening future, that the lack of exercise apocalypse will rain down on me.  I do best when I'm going after a positive outcome.  Between the bad juju at work during this last year and my own mid-life angst I've really lost sight of exercise towards something positive.  The summer before A went to college we tried to hike Katahdin, I logged that fiasco here somewhere.  Too, last year during deer hunting and this spring going turkey hunting I really noticed my level of condition.  These are the outdoor activities that motivated me for several years of hard work -- yet, even while loving doing them avoiding the negative element of diminished fitness doesn't motivate as noted above.  I've got myself some sort of double-bind going on here.  Sometimes one can play the Camus card and simply be absurd, "fake it till you make it" and that will break the log jam.  But for now I've got to grapple with this issue.

One, thought that occurred to me was to do exactly what I was encouraging you to do and log the adventures themselves.  So RATZ and I go for a hike or a canoe trip and log that.  Once a new habit of those activities is developed the workouts to support that might follow.

5-6-14

An hour of power yoga today. It was a nice change from yesterday's run. Finally able to get my whole carcass off the mat in wheel, although just barely. Nevertheless, progress. Day off tomorrow.

5-5-14

3 mile lunch run with 2 work associates. Yesterday's walk seemed to have set it up for me. I felt really good and enjoyed the cool sunny weather. Even reclaimed mine land looked good today. Time was 40:35 and it was pretty relaxed. Anticipating a good stretch at tomorrow's yoga.

5-4-14

Walked the neighborhood circuit with Tate today. Finally remembered to use my GPS watch to measure and time the route. I had estimated 3 miles, but it is 3.33. Time today, for a walk that was interrupted by a problem with Tate's harness was 59.16, a 15:56 per mile pace. If I take 4 or 5 minutes off for the repair, I'm at 55 or 56 minutes and a more respectable pace. Highlight was coming across a pileated woodpecker working on a dead birch tree along the street. Awesome bird.

5-2-14

An hour of yoga during lunch. Satisfying as usual. Latest discovery, after starting to do forward folds with knees bent rather than straight, is that my hamstrings are really sore. Intuitively I thought that keeping legs more or less straight would focus the stretch on hamstrings, while bending knees puts more of the stress on quads. Somehow though, that doesn't seem to be true. After months of straight leg bends with no real progress in flexibility, I am now feeling the work coming from bent knee folds.  Hoping that in a few weeks, the increased flex follows. We'll see.